Both Not Half by Jassa Ahluwalia Book Review

Jassa Ahluwalia’s Both Not Half is a refreshingly honest and deeply introspective exploration of identity, belonging, and the complexities of mixed heritage. Combining personal anecdotes, historical analysis, and social critique, Ahluwalia invites readers on a journey that is both deeply personal and universally resonant.

A Journey Through Mixed Heritage

Just like myself, Ahluwalia grew up in 1990s Britain as a child of mixed heritage, experiencing both the freedoms and challenges that came with it. His book is infused with humor, reflecting on the unique awkwardness and comedy of navigating two cultures. From childhood moments of innocence to the later realization that identity is often externally assigned, he captures the tensions of being constantly perceived through the lens of others.

A particularly compelling theme is the role of his grandparents, whose influence shaped his cultural connections and historical curiosity. He highlights the significance of oral history and the necessity of preserving the stories of past generations, particularly through his interviews about Partition. His exploration of language as a bridge to identity is another powerful thread—learning Punjabi was not just about communication, but about reclaiming a sense of self.

The Complexities of Identity

The book does not shy away from the difficulties of racial perception. Ahluwalia candidly addresses the privileges of whiteness, while also acknowledging the alienation that comes from not fully fitting into either racial category. He delves into the painful reality of color-based judgments—whether it’s missing out on the “Singh nod” or facing disbelief in a hospital when his name didn’t match assumptions about his race. These experiences underscore how racial identity is often determined by gatekeepers rather than personal choice.

Ahluwalia also grapples with historical and colonial narratives that continue to shape identity today. He examines labels such as Eurasian and Anglo-Indian, and how these designations have been wielded politically, particularly under British rule in India. The history of Anglo-Indians—children of British fathers and Indian mothers, often deemed a threat to the Empire—reveals how mixed identities were historically marginalized. He parallels this with the racialized narratives in the United States, where mixed-race children of enslaved mothers were deliberately bred as property. This historical context gives depth to his personal experiences and highlights the long-standing prejudices attached to hybridity.

Beyond the Personal: A Political and Social Commentary

One of the book’s greatest strengths is how it seamlessly blends the personal with the political. Ahluwalia doesn’t just tell his story—he examines how national identity is constructed and policed. He challenges the assumption that Britishness is inherently white, arguing that British-English identity is just as hyphenated as British-Asian. He critiques the way nationalism is anchored in myth, tracing its origins through the rise of the printing press, the creation of standardized languages, and the deliberate construction of patriotic narratives by ruling elites. His analysis is particularly relevant in an era where questioning national identity is often met with accusations of disloyalty.

The book also tackles class and economic inequalities, pointing out how racial tensions are often weaponized to obscure larger issues of power and wealth distribution. He critiques the way the British working class is racialized as a ‘white cultural minority’ in order to pit them against immigrants and people of color, distracting from systemic economic oppression. Through his own experiences in the arts and activism—including his work with Equity, the actors’ union—he highlights the challenges of advocating for change within rigid power structures.

The Search for Self-Acceptance

At its core, Both Not Half is about self-acceptance. Ahluwalia’s journey is one of moving beyond rigid labels, rejecting the notion that he must choose one identity over another. His reflection on nostalgia as an act of mourning is particularly poignant—he recognizes that while looking back can be valuable, it cannot “fix” the present. Instead, he advocates for an approach that reconciles past and present, allowing for a more fluid and evolving sense of self.

His perspective on masculinity also adds another layer to the book. In recounting his efforts to support his queer sister, he realizes that true support requires understanding rather than assumption. His reflections on gender norms, heteronormativity, and how masculinity is socially reinforced are thoughtful and necessary conversations within broader discussions of identity.

Conclusion: A Book for Anyone Grappling with Identity

One of the book’s most striking messages is that grappling with multiplicity is not unique to mixed-race individuals—it is a universal human experience. Whether through ethnicity, gender, profession, language, or nationality, everyone navigates multiple identities. Both Not Half is not just about racial identity; it is about the fluidity of selfhood in an increasingly interconnected world.

Ahluwalia leaves readers with a powerful question: If identity is always defined by others, why work on yourself at all? His answer is found in the pages of his book—because self-understanding changes how we see the world. By the end of Both Not Half, it’s clear that Ahluwalia has found peace in his hybridity. He is not half of anything, but fully himself.

This book is a must-read for anyone interested in identity, history, and the politics of belonging. It is as intellectually rich as it is deeply personal, a testament to Ahluwalia’s ability to weave together storytelling, historical analysis, and social critique in a way that feels both urgent and timeless.

You can purchase Both Not Half here and watch my podcast with Jassa Ahluwalia here.